"OUTSMART THEM ANY WAY YOU CAN!" by Dick Von Blogger
Ha! I'm back. I suppose you learned from my brothers, where I've been for the past few days. LOCKED DOWN IN THE NUT WARD ON A SEVENTY-TWO HOUR HOLD! Can you believe it? These SHRINK-MEDICO TYPES love to pull the old, "He's a danger to himself and/or to others" SCAM designed to INTERRUPT YOUR BLOGGING and the next thing you know, THE BOYS IN THE WHITE COATS SHOW UP WITH A PAIR OF RESTRAINTS AND A THREE DAY SUPPLY OF THEIR LATEST PHARMACEUTICAL POTIONS! Geez, almighty! Now, how the hell am I supposed to type up my DAILY RANT for the BLOGSITE when my arms are pinned down behind my back and my brain is misfiring because of all the DRUGS that they managed to force down my throat? Luckily for me I made up my mind a long time ago that I WASN'T HAVING ANY OF IT!
What I do is this. I wait until all of the CONTROLLER/HANDLER PERSONNEL are busy pulling their own SCAMS against THE SYSTEM and aren't watching me as closely as they should, then I make my move. Some of these ALL BRAWN - NO BRAIN TYPES will be occupied with their illicit sexual activity with one another while the rest of them are busy LOADING UP THEIR PERSONAL VEHICLES with whatever BOOTY they can GLOM from the SECURITY CAGES (where they keep all of the drugs and other good shit). As soon as I hear the familiar SOUNDS OF MOANING, PANTING AND SCREAMS OF ECSTASY, I quietly make my way into the Doctor's locker room and pick up one of their spare WHITE COATS. Then, with CLIPBOARD IN HAND, I brazenly walk past the SECURITY DOOR NURSE and throw a bit of JARGON at her. Nine times out of ten, it WORKS LIKE A CHARM! I've done it NINE TIMES, NOW. The NURSE ON DUTY yesterday thought I was DR QUACKMAN! Not very BRIGHT, these people! They won't even notice I'm gone for at least a few days, so I think I'll be able to put out a FEW MORE BLOGS BEFORE THEY CATCH UP TO ME!
The first thing I did when I got out of here was go by MARY THE SECRETARY'S PLACE and she BROUGHT ME UP TO SPEED! I don't know where I'd be without MARY'S EXCELLENT SECRETARIAL SKILLS and all of her OTHER TALENTS.
I just realized it's FRIDAY and time for the WEEKLY UPDATE! Man, I can't even remember what happened this week so I may not be able to RECAP IT! No matter, I'll just make some shit up.
Oh, yeah, before I go, remember it's only four days until June 6th. 06-06-06. Don't let the LIZARDS try to pull any of their SCAMS and balame it on other INNOCENT PEOPLE. Start using THE POWER WITHIN! (It's a gift from your BIG DADDY or MOMMY). The way it works is, find a quiet corner in wherever it is you hang your hat and say out loud, "I AM NOT ALLOWING THE LIZARDS TO PULL ANY SHIT ON ME ON JUNE 6TH, 2006!" Once you use the words, "I AM" it activates the POWER WHICH WE ALL POSSESS TO CREATE OUR OWN REALITY! It REALLY WORKS and WE ALL HAVE THE POWER! They just never told you about it, that's all. I mean, why should they? If they told us we had the power, THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL US ANY MORE! Yeah, we'll GIVE THEM A NEW WORLD ORDER! How about a BRAND NEW PARADIGM, INSTEAD?
By the way, JIMMY B., RICHIE TOLD ME TO ASK YOU, "HOW'S YOUR SISTER AND YOUR KID BROTHER, RAYMOND?" Since you were TALKING ABOUT HIS BROTHER, BOBBY, he said it's time to TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, NOW.
Have a good weekend. I'll talk to you soon. This is, Dick Von Blogger, Bloggerer TO THE STARS!
What I do is this. I wait until all of the CONTROLLER/HANDLER PERSONNEL are busy pulling their own SCAMS against THE SYSTEM and aren't watching me as closely as they should, then I make my move. Some of these ALL BRAWN - NO BRAIN TYPES will be occupied with their illicit sexual activity with one another while the rest of them are busy LOADING UP THEIR PERSONAL VEHICLES with whatever BOOTY they can GLOM from the SECURITY CAGES (where they keep all of the drugs and other good shit). As soon as I hear the familiar SOUNDS OF MOANING, PANTING AND SCREAMS OF ECSTASY, I quietly make my way into the Doctor's locker room and pick up one of their spare WHITE COATS. Then, with CLIPBOARD IN HAND, I brazenly walk past the SECURITY DOOR NURSE and throw a bit of JARGON at her. Nine times out of ten, it WORKS LIKE A CHARM! I've done it NINE TIMES, NOW. The NURSE ON DUTY yesterday thought I was DR QUACKMAN! Not very BRIGHT, these people! They won't even notice I'm gone for at least a few days, so I think I'll be able to put out a FEW MORE BLOGS BEFORE THEY CATCH UP TO ME!
The first thing I did when I got out of here was go by MARY THE SECRETARY'S PLACE and she BROUGHT ME UP TO SPEED! I don't know where I'd be without MARY'S EXCELLENT SECRETARIAL SKILLS and all of her OTHER TALENTS.
I just realized it's FRIDAY and time for the WEEKLY UPDATE! Man, I can't even remember what happened this week so I may not be able to RECAP IT! No matter, I'll just make some shit up.
Oh, yeah, before I go, remember it's only four days until June 6th. 06-06-06. Don't let the LIZARDS try to pull any of their SCAMS and balame it on other INNOCENT PEOPLE. Start using THE POWER WITHIN! (It's a gift from your BIG DADDY or MOMMY). The way it works is, find a quiet corner in wherever it is you hang your hat and say out loud, "I AM NOT ALLOWING THE LIZARDS TO PULL ANY SHIT ON ME ON JUNE 6TH, 2006!" Once you use the words, "I AM" it activates the POWER WHICH WE ALL POSSESS TO CREATE OUR OWN REALITY! It REALLY WORKS and WE ALL HAVE THE POWER! They just never told you about it, that's all. I mean, why should they? If they told us we had the power, THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL US ANY MORE! Yeah, we'll GIVE THEM A NEW WORLD ORDER! How about a BRAND NEW PARADIGM, INSTEAD?
By the way, JIMMY B., RICHIE TOLD ME TO ASK YOU, "HOW'S YOUR SISTER AND YOUR KID BROTHER, RAYMOND?" Since you were TALKING ABOUT HIS BROTHER, BOBBY, he said it's time to TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, NOW.
Have a good weekend. I'll talk to you soon. This is, Dick Von Blogger, Bloggerer TO THE STARS!
posted by Dick Von Blogger at 7:53 PM
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