"DOCTOR QUACKMAN WISHES TO SEE YOU!"

DICKVONBLOGGER: "You wanted to see me, Doc?"
DR QUACKMAN: "Yes, Dick. Nurse RIPPLE tells me she heard you last night in your room. You were screaming at the top
of your lungs at three o'clock in the morning!"
DVB: "She's a liar!"
DR QUACKMAN: "You weren't screaming?"
DVB: "No."
DR QUACKMAN: "Well, then, I wonder where she got the idea that you were screaming?"
DVB: "How the hell should I know?"
DR QUACKMAN: "Yes, well never mind. How have things been going for you lately? Any problems with your
medication?"
DVB: "What medication?"
DR QUACKMAN: "Why, those pills the nurses give you every day."
DVB: "Those little blue ones?"
DR QUACKMAN: "Why, yes, I believe they're blue."
DVB: "Your BALLS ARE BLUE! I don't take that shit."
DR QUACKMAN: "I beg you pardon, what did you say?"
DVB: "I said, I DON'T TAKE THAT SHIT! OPEN YOUR FUCKIN' EARS, JACKASS!"
DR QUACKMAN: "Calm down, Dick, there's no reason to get excited!"
DVB: "I'm NOT getting excited!"
DR QUACKMAN: "Good, good. Very good. By the way, that was a line from THE JERKY BOYS you pulled on me, wasn't it?"
DVB: "What line was that?"
DR QUACKMAN: "Where you said, 'OPEN YOUR FUCKIN' EARS, JACKASS!' That line."
DVB: "Ha ha. Yeah, it was. You're pretty smart, Doc. For a shrink, that is."
DR QUACKMAN: "Why, thank you, Dick. Yes, I guess I am pretty smart. I have to be to try and keep up with you and your
brothers."
DVB: "What brothers?"
DR QUACKMAN: "YOUR brothers. DIRK and BILLY VON."
DVB: "What're you on pills or something? I don't have any brothers."
DR QUACKMAN: "No brothers. I see, h'mm. Well never mind about that, right now. How have your blogs been going?"
DVB: "What BLOGS?"
DR QUACKMAN: "The blogs that you write every day. You know, on your blog site, DICKVONBLOGGER.BLOGSPOT.COM.
DVB: "I don't know what you're talking about."
DR QUACKMAN: "You don't know what I'm talking about?"
DVB: "No."
DR QUACKMAN: "You don't have a blogsite and you don't write blogs every day?"
DVB: "No."
DR QUACKMAN: "Then who's been writing them?"
DVB: "I don't know, maybe my brothers wrote them."
DR QUACKMAN: "But you just told me you don't have any brothers."
DVB: "I don't."
DR QUACKMAN: "Now, wait just a minute, here, Dick. I asked you if....."
DVB: "YOU ASKED ME HOW HAVE MY BLOGS BEEN GOING AND I ANSWERED WHAT BLOGS AND THEN YOU SAID
THE BLOGS THAT YOU WRITE EVERY DAY ON YOUR BLOGSITE AND I SAID I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT AND I STILL DON'T!"
DR QUACKMAN: "Okay, okay, okay, calm down, Dick, please."
DVB: "I AM CALM!"
DR QUACKMAN: "Yes, all right, I can see that you're calm. Good good."
DVB: "Don't try to bullshit me, Doc."
DR QUACKMAN: "Absolutely not. I would never try to bullshit you."
DVB: "Good."
DR. QUACKMAN: "Yes. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. The pills. If you didn't take the pills, what happened to them?"
DVB: "My brothers stole them!"
DR QUACKMAN: "Your brothers?"
DVB: "Yeah, MY BROTHERS! DIRK AND BILLY VON! WHAT'RE YOU, HARD OF HEARING?"
DR QUACKMAN: "I..., goodness, NURSE RIPPLE, WOULD YOU PLEASE COME IN HERE?"
DVB: "STOP YELLING IN MY EAR, ASSHOLE! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE DID WITH THE PILLS? WE GAVE THEM
TO OUR SECRETARY, MARY AND THEN SHE...."
DR QUACKMAN: "That's all right, Dick. Never mind."