"THE CLOWNS VS THE CLONES"
Dick Von Blogger's E-News & Rants of the Day!
“THE CLOWNS vs THE CLONES”
sunday april 23rd 2006.
Hark! ‘Tis I, “THE DICKSTER” (that’s the nickname my associates gave me) at your service, this ugly, grey weath-modded day (I hereby officially coin this term as slang for WEATHER MODIFICATION). (ref: H.R. 2995).
This has been a hard week, what with listening to all the HYPERBOLE from the TEE VEE CLONES and all the rest of the garbage they try to feed us. Plus, they just won’t let up with meddlin’ wit duh weather!
Bobby D was right. You don’t have to be a weatherman to know. We KNOW! It’s the wind, all right but now it’s THREE HUNDRED MPH winds we’re talkin’ ABOUT!
What with all the mental battles you go through trying to counteract their constant chatter and jaberwocky just to try and stay SANE for a few minutes longer and NOW THEY THINK THEY CAN SCREW UP THE WEATHER, TOO?
No, no, no! Oh, no, no, no! Noooo! NOOOOO!
NO ‘EFFEN BLINKIN’ WAY! I WANT SOMETHING DONE!
BILLY VON BLOGGER, here. DICK had to leave. He couldn’t take it, anymore. He went to see if he could find Mary. Good luck, Dick.
Speaking of CLONES. I heard about a guy from NOO YAWK who worked for Ma Bell and one day he met a rock star in a bar where the Ma Bell guy was workin’ on the TELEFONO. The GUY and the ROCK STAR had a brief conversation and THE STAR told THE GUY he was going to start a rock and roll CLOWN BAND now that his CURRENT BAND was DYSFUNCTIONAL and DISBANDED. The Ma Bell guy said he should call it, “THE DYSFUNCTIONALS! CLOWNS ON THE RUN!” The STAR said, “Thanks for the input, Mate, but I’m calling it, “The CLOWNS’ ROCK AND ROLL REVIEW!” and spellin’ it REVIEW and not REVUE because what we’re doin’ is reviewing all the OLD ROCK AND ROLL SONGS THERE EVER WERE! That’s cool, the Ma Bell guy replied and went on his MERRY WAY.
So, how weird is this? The STAR gets killed some years later and TWO YEARS AFTER THAT, the Ma Bell guy, now living thousands of miles away hears the STAR’S VOICE in his head. The STAR is telling him that THE FINAL BATTLE he’s heard so much about will actually be a battle between THE CLOWNS AND THE CLONES! But what the heck is a CLONE? The former MA BELL GUY had never heard anyone speak of CLONES before. The STAR EXPLAINED that CLONES were former NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS whose brains had been TAKEN OVER and “CLONED OUT” through the use of computers and other brain-washing techniques. They were now neatly MIND CONTROLLED and that was why NOBODY KNEW WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON! The CLONES were now going to ELIMINATE MUSIC AND REPLACE IT WITH NOISE! And there would be NO MORE FUN FOR ANYONE!
Holy Kowabunga! It made perfect sense, now! The STAR then informed the FORMER MA BELL GUY that in a previous life he (the Ma Bell guy) had been a KNIGHT and had THE KNIGHT’S CODE OF HONOR instilled in him. Would he now be willing to take over where THE STAR had left off and GET THE CLOWN BAND GOING? FOR WORLD PEACE? Huh? Would he?
Of course he would! Wouldn’t you? The STAR then told THE GUY that by combining MUSIC with LAUGHTER, the MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE - “MUSIC & LAUGHTER” would be created and then THE GUY could use the power to DEFEAT THE CLONES and SAVE THE WORLD!
They made a covenent, the STAR and the MA BELL GUY did. The Ma Bell guy would form, ‘THE CLOWNS’ ROCK AND ROLL REVIEW”. THE CLOWNS would start spreading the word THROUGH MUSIC AND LAUGHTER and THE CLONES WOULD BE DEFEATED! THE STAR gave THE GUY the official MOTTO (Battle Cry). “‘MUSIC & LAUGHTER’ - PREVENTS A DISASTER!” to use in THE FINAL BATTLE.
Well, I tell you. When I first heard the story, I thought it was pretty funny. A real group of CLOWNS dressed up in their CLOWN SUITS (Zoot) playing their GUITARS and SINGING straight-up ROCK AND ROLL! That has got to be THE COOLEST THING I EVER HEARD OF!
Funny thing is - it’s working. People are using it to defeat THE CLONES who are TRYING TO CLONE THEM OUT, TOO! Through MUSIC and LAUGHTER, they are starting to remember who they once were and are RESISTING letting their MINDS be TAKEN OVER!
CLOWNROCK, Baby. CLOWNROCK! It's a COSMIC CIRCUS, Lads! I love it! Billy Von Blogger, sitting in for DICK.
“THE CLOWNS vs THE CLONES”
sunday april 23rd 2006.
Hark! ‘Tis I, “THE DICKSTER” (that’s the nickname my associates gave me) at your service, this ugly, grey weath-modded day (I hereby officially coin this term as slang for WEATHER MODIFICATION). (ref: H.R. 2995).
This has been a hard week, what with listening to all the HYPERBOLE from the TEE VEE CLONES and all the rest of the garbage they try to feed us. Plus, they just won’t let up with meddlin’ wit duh weather!
Bobby D was right. You don’t have to be a weatherman to know. We KNOW! It’s the wind, all right but now it’s THREE HUNDRED MPH winds we’re talkin’ ABOUT!
What with all the mental battles you go through trying to counteract their constant chatter and jaberwocky just to try and stay SANE for a few minutes longer and NOW THEY THINK THEY CAN SCREW UP THE WEATHER, TOO?
No, no, no! Oh, no, no, no! Noooo! NOOOOO!
NO ‘EFFEN BLINKIN’ WAY! I WANT SOMETHING DONE!
BILLY VON BLOGGER, here. DICK had to leave. He couldn’t take it, anymore. He went to see if he could find Mary. Good luck, Dick.
Speaking of CLONES. I heard about a guy from NOO YAWK who worked for Ma Bell and one day he met a rock star in a bar where the Ma Bell guy was workin’ on the TELEFONO. The GUY and the ROCK STAR had a brief conversation and THE STAR told THE GUY he was going to start a rock and roll CLOWN BAND now that his CURRENT BAND was DYSFUNCTIONAL and DISBANDED. The Ma Bell guy said he should call it, “THE DYSFUNCTIONALS! CLOWNS ON THE RUN!” The STAR said, “Thanks for the input, Mate, but I’m calling it, “The CLOWNS’ ROCK AND ROLL REVIEW!” and spellin’ it REVIEW and not REVUE because what we’re doin’ is reviewing all the OLD ROCK AND ROLL SONGS THERE EVER WERE! That’s cool, the Ma Bell guy replied and went on his MERRY WAY.
So, how weird is this? The STAR gets killed some years later and TWO YEARS AFTER THAT, the Ma Bell guy, now living thousands of miles away hears the STAR’S VOICE in his head. The STAR is telling him that THE FINAL BATTLE he’s heard so much about will actually be a battle between THE CLOWNS AND THE CLONES! But what the heck is a CLONE? The former MA BELL GUY had never heard anyone speak of CLONES before. The STAR EXPLAINED that CLONES were former NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS whose brains had been TAKEN OVER and “CLONED OUT” through the use of computers and other brain-washing techniques. They were now neatly MIND CONTROLLED and that was why NOBODY KNEW WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON! The CLONES were now going to ELIMINATE MUSIC AND REPLACE IT WITH NOISE! And there would be NO MORE FUN FOR ANYONE!
Holy Kowabunga! It made perfect sense, now! The STAR then informed the FORMER MA BELL GUY that in a previous life he (the Ma Bell guy) had been a KNIGHT and had THE KNIGHT’S CODE OF HONOR instilled in him. Would he now be willing to take over where THE STAR had left off and GET THE CLOWN BAND GOING? FOR WORLD PEACE? Huh? Would he?
Of course he would! Wouldn’t you? The STAR then told THE GUY that by combining MUSIC with LAUGHTER, the MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE - “MUSIC & LAUGHTER” would be created and then THE GUY could use the power to DEFEAT THE CLONES and SAVE THE WORLD!
They made a covenent, the STAR and the MA BELL GUY did. The Ma Bell guy would form, ‘THE CLOWNS’ ROCK AND ROLL REVIEW”. THE CLOWNS would start spreading the word THROUGH MUSIC AND LAUGHTER and THE CLONES WOULD BE DEFEATED! THE STAR gave THE GUY the official MOTTO (Battle Cry). “‘MUSIC & LAUGHTER’ - PREVENTS A DISASTER!” to use in THE FINAL BATTLE.
Well, I tell you. When I first heard the story, I thought it was pretty funny. A real group of CLOWNS dressed up in their CLOWN SUITS (Zoot) playing their GUITARS and SINGING straight-up ROCK AND ROLL! That has got to be THE COOLEST THING I EVER HEARD OF!
Funny thing is - it’s working. People are using it to defeat THE CLONES who are TRYING TO CLONE THEM OUT, TOO! Through MUSIC and LAUGHTER, they are starting to remember who they once were and are RESISTING letting their MINDS be TAKEN OVER!
CLOWNROCK, Baby. CLOWNROCK! It's a COSMIC CIRCUS, Lads! I love it! Billy Von Blogger, sitting in for DICK.
posted by Dick Von Blogger at 8:44 PM
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